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The alchemy of grief and loss

Updated: Feb 8, 2021

I have to admit that waking up in the middle of the night at 3 am for months, not being able to go back to sleep or crying took a toll on me. Anxiety crept over in the form of different thoughts that were not supportive. I started my day feeling tired, and my ability to staying present was also challenging.

Loss comes in different ways and sometimes at the same time in a short period. Slowly losing a parent to dementia, the end of a relationship of many years, and the sudden death of somebody you love; are all losses that generated intense grief.

I feel like grief transformed itself into different feelings, denial, anger, sadness, and not necessarily in that order; finally, I could transition to acceptance and meaning. It is always hard to see clearly in moments of despair, and not much makes sense. I had to feel it. Still, it will morph into something else. Once I could tap into sweet memories that I have stored with these loved ones, things started shifting, filling my heart with compassion, meaning, and gratitude.

I have used different tools that have kept me afloat during times like this. Meditation, food, teas, music, journaling, and ceremonial offerings to mother earth utilizing the elements to transmute the stuck energy. They all have their value and worked at a different time.

I wanted to share the tea that was and still is soothing for me; it warms the heart while cooling and toning our nervous system.



Serves 2

2 part chamomile

1 part Lemon Balm

1 part rose petals

One cinnamon stick crushed

Honey to taste


Combine all these and prepare an infusion, approximately one tablespoon per 2 cups. Let steep for 7 minutes and relax. Drink 4 cups daily.


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